©2018 BY MANDY ABNEY

Ripped Jeans, Fitting Rooms & My Mommas Pot Roast

June 21, 2018

 

 

Skinny Jeans. 

 

Like, who the heck came up with the name "skinny" jeans.  Obviously a girl who was a size 0 and about 6 foot tall, because seriously, I don't think I've EVER felt "skinny" in a pair of those things.  Lemme just tell ya that the last time I tried on a pair of these horrendous things, I had to peel off like you would the candy wrapper of a super long tootsie roll if you unrolled it from one side.  Hence the reason I don't look good in skinny jeans.  I LOVE CANDY.  Any kind of candy!  Chocolate candy, sweet candy, sour candy, you name it, it's my favorite, all of it!  So I relate much more to the tootsie roll than to the skinny jeans!  My point is, they have never been my friend.  Mainly because I've always been on some sort of diet my entire life.  I've been trying to get skinny, whatever that is!  But one day, a pair of skinny jeans actually fit me!

 

I couldn't believe it!  I fell in love!  I had tried on only about 342 pairs of jeans that day, because you know how it is, if you wear a size 8, you don't necessarily wear an 8.  You may wear anywhere from a 4 to a 24 in today's fitting room where the glorious fluorescent lights shine down on you!  When the final pair went over my hips I was in SHOCK!  Can you hear the angels sing Hallelujah?  Yeah, they were rejoicing sister!  I don't know why the lady in the stall next to me seemed so annoyed, maybe she didn't have the same struggle with skinny jeans that I had, so to me, she was from a completely different planet!  

 

But here's the deal, y'all!  Those jeans that used to fit so perfectly.  Those "skinny" jeans of mine.  They got tight, like REALLY tight.  Y'all know what I mean.  The kinda tight where you don't dare put them in the dryer, you lie on the bed to put them on, THEN you do about 100 squats in them to loosen them so they are appropriate to wear in front of young children?  Yeah, those.

 

Well, around squat 42, they RIPPED.  Straight up ripped, sister!!!  I'm not talking about down the inseam in a place where I could easily sew...OK, I'll be honest, I sew nothing because I don't even know how, John does every bit of that.  It's what made me fall so hard for him.  But seriously, this rip was about 2 inches left of the inseam in the weirdest place, a place that nothing could repair!!!  My "skinny" jeans had ripped, and not the cool kind of ripped that all the kids that are about 10 years younger than me wear, this was a very, very, VERY bad rip!  This is what I call...my mommas pot roast RIP!

 

That's right!  Too much of mommas cookin'! Every Sunday after church it's a tradition to go to mom's, eat this huge carbohydrate loaded meal that is absolutely the best thing you've ever placed in your mouth, and then be lazy the rest of the day.  I blame my rip on the pot roast...and all the other horrible decisions I've been making nutritionally.

You see, it's easy to put the blame on someone or something else when things go wrong.  What's not so easy is self reflection and looking inward and being true to ourselves and thinking on the things that WE really need to change.  It's not momma's fault, or the dryer's, or the manufacturer of skinny jeans.  IT IS ME.  I've made poor nutritional decisions lately that not only affect my body composition, but also my optimal health.  I have to take ownership of that because it's the only way I overcome this particular obstacle.

 

I'm ready to master the ripped jeans, the fitting room and even mommas pot roast.  I don't know about you, but I want to live my days to the fullest, and by fullest I don't mean FULL of food and overindulgence. 

 

I mean FULL of kindness, love, grace, compassion..THOSE things, and I know I can do that when I am taking care of ME and not putting the blame on someone else.  Stop blaming others, look within and see if there is something you can change within yourself FIRST.  You might just be surprised what you find.

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